Skip to main content

Attachment Theory - The Basics

As stated by Wikipedia, the attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans. It refers to the fact that the way you attach to others as an adult corresponds directly to the way you attached to others as a kid. Do you know what your attachment style is? Let's find out.


There are 4 main attachment styles.
  1. Secure
  2. Anxious
  3. Avoidant
  4. Disorganised

1) Secure

  • Trusts people really easily
  • Comfortable with emotions and is self confident
  • Can communicate what upsets them directly to the person
  • Able to seek support from partner
  • Interested in responding to others.

2) Anxious

  • Interested in what others want
  • Sensitive nervous system
  • Struggles communicating directly
  • Does regrettable things when triggered
  • Lack of nurturing

3) Avoidant

  • Likes being isolated
  • Emotionally distant with everyone
  • Self-reliant usually
  • Subconsciously believes that their needs won't be met
  • View themselves as unlovable

4) Disorganised

  • Has low self esteem
  • More dependent in a relationship than avoidant
  • Strongly fears failure and and rejection
  • Has high anxiety in relationships and usually in general
  • Highly emotional



These patterns are passed down from generation to generation. We learn how to connect from parents and in turn teach the future generations. However, it really depends on how you deal with the environment you are given. Of course with hard work, you can change your nurturing style and provide a better childhood to your kids.

Are you part of any of these styles? Write it in the comments below. Good luck!


















Image by skalekar1992 from Pixabay

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Myth Or Fact #4 - People with anxiety can ‘snap out of it’ if they really wanted to

Is This A Myth Or A Fact? People with anxiety can ‘snap out of it’ if they really wanted to Myth!  You cannot control anxiety, you cannot turn it on and off with a button. While this seems like something most people understand, there is still a myth around it that people who feel anxiety can easily snap out of it. They underestimate the condition and the effects it has on the person, both mentally and physically. Photo by JESHOOTS.com from Pexels

Quick Reads #5 - Who Defines My Thoughts

Who defines your daily thoughts? Is it you or is it someone else? When we talk about anxiety, it never really is you thinking about the stressors, it's the anxiety talking for you. Here are a few types of thoughts you might see in your life. Self Critic The self critic is unique as they usually get the thoughts from someone else and apply them to themselves. A few places their thoughts and anxiety may be coming from is Their family and friends  Thoughts they created due to a past experience  -These can include things such as betrayal or grief Social media  This includes celebrities and people who may look like are living a better life. The self critic has low self-esteem and does not like to work on themselves. They lack self love. They need to understand that you are only hurting yourself. What-If? The What-If is the person who keeps on asking themselves "what if I do this and that happens." They do not understand that overthinking is the main cause

This Is What I Fear #8 - Domatophobia

Has the pandemic made your mental health degrade since you are mostly inside? Well people with Domatophobia - the fear of houses or being inside a house have it worse. While it is a requirement for us to stay inside, considering the pandemic, people with Domatophobia could have an increase in sense of anxiety, fright and anger. Even though the causes for Domatophobia can vary from person to person, the 2 main reasons are trauma and genetics where past experiences such as robberies can cause you to feel as if you will be harmed if you stay inside. Some physical symptoms of Domatophobia include but are not limited to nausea, trembling, confusion or even shortness of breath while inside a house. If you suffer from Domatophobia, getting treatment as soon as possible is really recommended since this phobia can be a danger to your health and can ruin your relationships with friends and family.             Image by Frank Winkler from Pixabay